Conspiracy Theory

What’s going on here?! Where is Dr. Spacey? I was looking around in the rubble caused by the explosion in Dr. Spacey’s Hair Rejuvenation lab and I found some small bits of paper which seem to be part of some movie memorabilia collection. A scrapbook, perhaps. But no sign of Dr. Spacey!

I’ll look through the rubble and see if I can find more stuff. And see if I can find Dr. Spacey. You know how upsetting this is to me since American Beauty was my very favorite Spacey movie.

I cannot start building the AB page without Dr. Spacey’s help! I can’t imagine what happened to him. Hmm … what are these bits of paper?

Psst….Something is not quite right here. Of all the Spacey movie pages in all the Internet, this is the page that doesn’t look right. Something is keeping me from adding an American Beauty section to the site. It must be a plot of some kind, but who would be behind it?

I know. Aliens! Hollywood is filled with aliens. Makes sense to me.

Look at the evidence.

Scientific proof that Kevin was part of a vast Hollywood-based alien conspiracy:

Kevin was in American Beauty which defies all logic. Why?

Helen Hunt, Kevin’s Pay It Forward co-star, was quoted as saying that when she first met Kevin she realized they were both from the same planet. Interesting choice of words. Why not just say they were very much alike?

Glenn Close, celebrated actress, as quoted in the Calgary Sun:

“I would never date a businessman. Put that in print. They’re civilians. I’m of the alien nation of actors. I am proud to be an alien, and I’m only really comfortable with fellow aliens.”

Penelope Cruz had *this* to say about Johnny Depp:

“Johnny is so special that he is like a Martian. In fact, that’s what I call him, Martian.”

Scary, isn’t it?

Kevin’s date to the Oscars, the lovely Dianne, his longtime girlfriend of 9-11 years who wishes to remain anonymous, suddenly disappears a few weeks after the Oscars only to return 6 months later looking exactly like Oscar winning actress HELEN HUNT!!

Obviously the victim of human cloning experiments. If that’s not a fiendish alien conspiracy, I don’t know what is.

In this photo, also at the Oscars, if you squint you can see a dark speck which is a spaceship hovering in the clear sky above the interview podium where Kevin is innocently answering ABC reporter Meredith Vierra’s question about his rear being the reason he’s nominated for the Oscar. Totally clueless. Or deliberately ignoring it? The only one who notices anything amiss, is Samuel L. Jackson, himself suspected of being a brother from another planet after picking out a velvet tux.

Oscarpre-showinterview3

This just in! News flash!

This is getting creepy! In this morning’s edition of the Washington Post (Sunday Arts, August 5, 2001), in an article about Christopher Walken, these words are used:

There’s a halting rhythm to his speech that has inspired countless impersonators, including, famously, Kevin Spacey and comedian Jay Mohr. Walken paces his words like this: It’s as, if, he’s . . . following. The punctuation rules, of another . . . galaxy.

He also compares himself to Bugs Bunny just as Kevin did in an interview a few years ago! How weird is that? Bugs Bunny??

This just in .. ANOTHER NEWS FLASH!

October 15, 2001.

Straight from the horse’s mouth to a writer with Entertainment Weekly magazine!:

“I’ve always had a very strange bond with Anne Heche and I never knew why,” notes Spacey. “Now it all makes sense. We’re both from K-PAX!”

I seriously have to work on getting Dr. Spacey off that spaceship before it’s too late and return him to his fans who adore him.

Hey! I found some more pictures in the rubble!

How sweet. The get well card Dr. Spacey sent out to everyone with the flu.

Get Well1

Oh my, this picture seems to have some water damage. I can’t quite make it out. I’ll have to file an insurance claim. I’m sure it was very valuable.

Lester wet

This is nice! Dr. Spacey is looking in her ear for signs of infection. He’s a very dedicated scientist. What a man!

Lesterkiss

And here is a postage stamp. This is from one of those countries where you don’t have to be dead to get your picture on a stamp.

AB stamp1

Here’s Notorious K.E.V scratchin’ … or is it spinnin’… in Entertainment Weekly.

EW2001

What are these? More awards photos?

 

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