Conversations with KevieBear
April 4, 2008
Lazy Assistant: Hi KB! Where have you been? I haven’t talked to you in a while.
KevieBear: I’ve been around. Hibernating mostly. It’s been a long winter. Do you know why I’m still wearing my Christmas sweater?
LA: I dunno. Aren’t you hot in that thing?
KB: Yeah, but the rich color brings out the golden tones in my fur.
KB: Are we in the middle of a postal strike or something? I’ve been expecting a very important piece of mail and so far it hasn’t arrived. It’s from another country!
LA: You haven’t been bothering him again, have you?
KB: I don’t consider it bothering him. It’s more like, shall we say, reaching out to a kindred spirit.
LA: He might think of it as, shall we say, stalking.
KB: Stalking?? I don’t know what you’re talking about. How could you say something like that?
LA: Because I’m thinking it?
KB: You’re obviously just jealous of me. That happens a lot. When you’re as special and good-looking as I am, especially when I’m wearing one of my many sweaters, people tend to have hostile feelings for you. It’s a curse. Truly, it is.
LA: Oh, Brother. You know, judging by some of the emails I’ve received, there are more than a few people out there who find you to be tiresome. You’ve even been called an embarrassment. Truly, you have.
KB: What… what do you mean? Why do you say these things to me? I thought you were my friend. Why else do you think I live with you?
LA: Because you can’t reach the doorknob to leave?
KB: Ha! You think you’re so smart! Pack my suitcase and call a limo to take me to the airport and you’ll never see me again.
LA: A limo?? That’s a good one. If I could afford a limo, I’d be gone and you’d be stuck here. Where would I go? Italy? Spain? Greece? Dare I say… England?
KB: That was cold. And after everything I’ve done for you. I’d list everything now but I have to go do something else.
LA: What’s that, my KevieBear?