KevieBear and his friends StalkerBear and Scrappy the Dog are sitting in front of the Christmas tree taking pictures and talking about KevieBear’s friendship with Kevin Spacey.
K-Bear: “Hold still now. Don’t eat any of the cookies. I need those for a prop. The camera is about to go off. If this picture turns out I’ll use it for my holiday cards.”
K-Bear and his friends continue their conversation.
K-Bear: “…so then he never wrote back to me. And that made sad. Because I was sure that everything I’d read about him being a generous and giving fellow actor was true. But he never wrote back and it finally sank in that he was afraid of my great talent. What else could it have been? I realized that if I was going to get my big break at the Old Vic that I was going to have to take the bull by the horns and contact them myself.”
Stalker: “So what did you do?”
Camera whirs, but no flash of light.
K-Bear: &*^^%$$! The flash didn’t go off. Let’s try it again. Hold still…..
K-Bear: “I wrote them a lovely letter telling them of my qualifications and how I was willing to take any role, no matter how small, and made sure to tell them how much I admired Kevin Spacey and told them how much I felt that I could offer something to them. That was last month. I still haven’t had any word from them.”
Stalker: “What are you going to do now?”
K-Bear: “I was going to bake Christmas cookies and mail them to Kevin along with my sincere holiday wishes but the cookies burned. Store bought cookies are just as good though. These are my favorites. I’m going to send these instead. He’ll never know they weren’t homemade, will he? Would you like to read The Letter? I have a copy in my pocket.
K-Bear: Great! You read that while I try to figure out what’s wrong with the camera.”
K-Bear: That was a lot better but I’m thinking at least one more shot to be sure. Let me try again while you read the letter. Don’t eat the cookies!
Stalker reads the letter out loud: Dear Sir or Madam, (Stalker hears the sound of munching.) It has been brought to my attention … (munch, munch)… numerous abilities… possibility of hire … too hasty … (munch, munch)… novice… illustrious theater… (munch, munch)..
K-Bear: “These cookies are fantastic!”
Stalker continues reading: … Mr. Spacey… painfully obvious… jealous… good looks… (munch, munch)… fears… astonishing talent… (munch, munch).. dare I ask..
Stalker finishes the letter. He is speechless.
K-Bear: “That sounded great, didn’t it, Stalker?”
Stalker: “This is the letter you sent to the Old Vic?”
K-Bear: “Yes! I’ll be hearing from them after the holidays, I’m sure. Don’t you agree?!”
BIG FLASH OF LIGHT FROM THE CAMERA
Stalker says nothing. Scrappy remains silent. There are no cookies left for Kevin.