Friday, June 13, 2008 –
KevieBear has been waiting impatiently to hear from his idol Kevin Spacey about a job at the Old Vic. For months.
KevieBear: I don’t understand Hoppy. Why haven’t I heard anything? Maybe I forgot to give him my phone number or wrote down my address wrong or gave him my brother’s email address instead of mine. I wouldn’t put it past my brother Growler to try to sabotage my career! He’s always been jealous because Mom loved me best. She told me herself and Mom wouldn’t lie.
Hoppy (remembering that “Mom” is the one who told KevieBear he has a boatload of talent): Uh, sure K-Bear. Whatever you say.
KevieBear: Or maybe that no-talent hack Jeff Goldblum stole my letter from the mail and Kevin never saw it! He’s probably using Kevin to try to get work in the business. As I said before, who ever heard of him before Kevin was nice enough to offer him work at the Old Vic? I’m tired of waiting around. I have a talent that cannot be denied! I’m going to go out and pound the pavement and knock on doors, going from studio to studio and theater to theater until someone agrees to see me! I won’t give up no matter how long it takes! I refuse to be ignored!
Hoppy: There aren’t any studios or theaters around here.
KevieBear: What does that have to do with anything? I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. Nothing will stop me!
Ten minutes later KevieBear phones Hoppy.
KevieBear: Hoppy? Hello? Pick up. Oh, hi! I can’t go any farther. I’m exhausted. What do I do now? What, what, what? Thinking… thinking….. um, what was I thinking about? Oh. Right! Maybe I should get an interim job. Just until my big break which I can feel is just around the corner. Hmmm… I know! I will use my time for the good of the people and selflessly do volunteer work because that’s the kind of bear that I am. How much do you suppose that pays?
After giving it some thought, KevieBear decides to put his efforts into the political arena. Stuffing envelopes for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.
KevieBear: Look, Hoppy! Buttons and banners! I got them for almost nothing on the Internet. It was like they were on clearance or something. Being so close to power is intoxicating. Did I ever tell you about the time Madeleine Albright hit on me in line at the grocery store? Remind me to tell you about that later. So anyway, the woman at Hillary’s office sounded surprised when I offered my services to her campaign. I guess they don’t get many bears. This is so exciting! I’m proud to help the democratic process live another day. I can feel the pride of our forefathers swimming through my veins. I can smell the power of the people. I love Hillary. I am going to devote myself to her cause and be an envelope-stuffing fiend. And when she’s president, maybe she’ll let me stay in the Lincoln bedroom at the White House and she’ll invite me to a state dinner and maybe my picture will be in the newspapers and when Kevin Spacey sees that I hang with the powerful people, he’ll contact me to offer me a job in his next movie and *that* is the big break I can feel in my bones is on the horizon!
Hoppy: Oh dear. I guess you haven’t heard.
KevieBear: Heard what?
Hoppy: (The sound of silence)
Hoppy: Hillary is out. Barrack Obama is the Democratic nominee for 2008.
KevieBear: Who? Who is *that*? I’ve never heard of her.
Hoppy: He’s not a her. He’s a him.
KevieBear: Well, I never heard of him. He must not be getting much press. Now what should I do? If *I* never heard of this guy then Kevin won’t have either so what good is he to me? Why, oh why, is my journey to the top such a difficult climb??
Hoppy: I’m bored. Got any Jeff Goldblum movies?
KevieBear’s next adventure: KevieBear Goes Space-y