July 5, 2002

KevieBear had been attending a holiday parade. Due to his wearing a wool sweater in the heat, he passed out on the sidewalk, hitting his head. He wakes up at home in his bed.

KevieBearHeatstroke2Where… where am I? My head hurts. Who’s that whispering? Mr. DeMille, is that you? I’m ready for my close-up.

The whispering voices belong to KevieBear’s mother Caffeine, his brother Growler and his sister Lulie Pan.

Caffeine: My poor KevieBear. The doctor said he hit his head when he hit the pavement.

Lulie Pan: Don’t worry, Mom. The doctor said he’d be fine. He was barely concussed. See? His eyes are hardly crossed anymore.

Growler: He’s fakin’ it. He was always doing that when we were kids. (In a whining, childlike voice) .. I got hit in the face with a sword! I fell out of a treehouse! I burned my hand setting fire to the shed! Always looking for sympathy.

Caffeine: He was the baby bear of the family. He needed extra attention.

Growler: He’ll be getting lots of attention when his lawyer calls back.

KevieBear lets out a pained groan.

Lulie Pan: Kevie! Are you alright? Where does it hurt?

The ice bag slipped. It went down my back. Who are *you*?     

Caffeine: Oh dear! This can’t be good.

KevieBearShortsA few weeks later.

What a great day! It’s wonderful to be outdoors again. I wish I could go for a run or ride my bike, but the doctor said to take it easy for a while.

I guess I’ll just stand here on the bridge and look like I’m going to do something athletic.

I wonder if anyone knows it’s almost my birthday? I’ll have a little party and then I’ll have to start packing to go to the jungle to start filming my movie.

I wonder where the jungle is? I’ll have to look at the map. Oops! My sunglasses are slipping.

July 26, 2002

It’s KevieBear’s birthday! His mother always takes his picture after the party even though he finds it to be very embarrassing after all these years. KevieBear always receives very nice gifts. This year his mother gave him some bunny slippers and a beautiful purple sweater. There’s nothing KevieBear likes more than a new sweater for his collection. As any bear with good fashion sense will tell you, find a style that looks good on you and stick with it.

Do we have to do this, Mom? This is so embarrassing.

KevieBearsBirthdayKevie, you know how much pleasure this gives me. Now blow out the candle before you get a burn on your nose. If you’d done this while everyone was still here, we could have had a big family picture.

Like I’m not being tortured enough. Thank you for the sweater, Mom. I don’t have a purple sweater. The bunny slippers are fun too.

I don’t want you to get a chill in the jungle. These will keep your feet warm. Those other gifts will come in handy too.

Sunscreen, energy bar, pith helmet, lantern, compass … BAND AIDS?

Caffeine: The Band Aids were your sister’s idea. Straighten your sunglasses dear.

Grrrrr …

keviebearandvinnyKevieBear went to the jungle to make his movie.

Things don’t always go as planned.

But he has finally returned from his jungle movie set with his newly adopted pet, Vinny the chimp.

He’s going to be very busy typing up his notes from the trip. He’s writing a feature for his newspaper while he waits for the movie to be released.

*Newspaper feature

KevieBear is hibernating for the winter.

March 17, 2003

Whew! What a long winter that was! But now KevieBear is awake and ready to party. Good thing it’s St. Patrick’s Day. A great day for a bear to kick back and have some fun.

Hey, baby, what’s your sign? (Did I really say that?? Why did I take my brother’s advice? Growler hasn’t had a date in 25 years. How would he know what to say to women? How did I let him talk me into coming here in the first place? Where did he go?)

StKevieBearKevieBear hears a familiar voice across the room.

Growler: Hey, baby. There must have been an earthquake because I felt the earth move when I first laid eyes on you.

KevieBear: Oh, no..

Growler: Hey, baby. I’m not Irish, but you can kiss me anyway.

KevieBear covers his face and slinks out of the bar as quickly as possible.

April 20, 2005aro

KevieBear has been away for nearly two years, hiding out from the world press and Mort Flopper’s attorneys following an incident during the filming of his now defunct jungle movie.  But now he has resurfaced in order to go to England and see his favorite actor in the flesh. He has been hanging around the stage door at the Old Vic Theatre for the past few weeks and after learning how everything is done, he’s going to make his move after tonight’s play and is going to try to get an autograph.

KevieBear’s journey continues with… KevieBear at the Old Vic.