KevieBear’s Journey To The Moon – Part Five

May 12, 2007


KevieBear reminisces with the lady from PA about the afternoon’s excitement when he finally met his idol, Kevin Spacey, after years of trying and hoping.

Wasn’t that the moment of a lifetime? He was thrilled to meet me, did you notice? Did you sense the connection we made? Two brilliant artists sharing a moment in time. Artistic soul mates, if you will. That’s probably why we look so much alike. It was almost like looking in a mirror. I’m sure he’s going to want me in his next movie or perhaps his next play in London. Time to make plans.

I’ll need new luggage, an assistant, a personal secretary, a private plane would make things easier too. I’ll need a top of the line trailer for location shoots. And my own driver. Someone will no doubt want to start a fan site, so let’s be sure to have my attorney snap up all the possible domains. I’ll probably want to start a web site about my travels too. My fans will be wanting to read all about me. 

Hmmm. Who told Spacey to use this picture in the Playbill? Not his best if you ask me. I’ll have to give him some pointers on that kind of thing. That reminds me, before I leave for London I’ll need to have a stack of glossies printed up. I’ll sign them all while I’m on the plane. My fans will be clamoring for them “across the pond” as they say.


What’s so funny? 

As I was saying before you interrupted with your strange laughter, you’ll need to contact my agent and my manageri n the morning and … what did you say? You’re going home in the morning?? But, but… what about ME? I can’t leave town until I hear from Kev. 

Kev. You know! Kevin Spacey? Of course he’s going to be calling me. He’s probably having the contracts drawn up right now. Why do you keep laughing like that? As I was saying, I can’t leave… you’re leaving without me? But, if you leave, who’s going to pay for my hotel? 

Oh. Well, it’s been fun (sniff, sniff) while it lasted. Say hi to the big cats and the hairy pig when you get home. You’ve pre-paid the bill, right? Don’t forget to call the front desk. I’ll be needing a wake-up call in the morning not to mention room service for breakfast. 

I’d better call my editor. The paper will probably pay for everything. Sigh. And we were having so much fun together!


KevieBear calls his editor who was very angry that he blew off his assignment to have fun.

Ouch! My ears must be bleeding after all that profanity! I haven’t heard words like that since my brother said he was quitting his third year at the two-year community college and moving back home. Mom really shouldn’t have cursed like that. 

I would never have avoided my editor’s calls and emails if I’d known she wanted me to go to the theater, meet and talk to Spacey fans and then conduct an interview she had set up with Kevin Spacey! Why didn’t she tell me what the real assignment was instead of teasing me with all that moon talk?? Now she says I have to pay my own way home.

That’s just great. And how am I supposed to do that? I don’t have any money. I hope I don’t have to sell my body! Why do these things always happen to me?

Don’t forget to leave the Do Not Disturb sign on the door in the morning. I hate it when someone wakes me up before I’m ready. I wonder what my bud Kev’s doing right now? He’s probably thinking that if I were his understudy, he could take a night off. Oh well. There’s no rest for the weary.


Tomorrow I’ll have to get a job or something to pay for my trip home. I wonder if the New York Times needs an ace reporter for a few days? I’ll call them first. I wonder what I should call my web site?

I’m so sleepy. I’d better get to bed.

The next day –

The New York Times did not need a new ace reporter. So after being abandoned to his fate by the nice lady from Pennsylvania and her spacey cohorts, KevieBear has been forced to find a series of odd jobs to make money to pay his way home. But as his mother would tell you, work is not KevieBear’s forte. After his first few jobs fell through due to lack of qualifications, he has now found a job as a living billboard.

This is a little embarrassing. I hope no one recognizes me. Where did that gum come from? The sidewalk is absolutely filthy. I’d better stand on this scrap of paper bag. Maybe if I lean up against the wall and close my eyes, no one will notice me.


The job as a living billboard didn’t go as well as hoped for. KevieBear stands on the sidewalk and ponders his next move.

Boy, it’s hot! I feel faint. I’d better lean up against the wall before I fall over. I hope my bald spot didn’t get a burn. I thought if I took my shirt off and tied it around my head it would help. I wish I had my flip flops. My dogs are barking!

KevieBear hears the faint sound of money being dropped on the ground.

What’s this? Fifty cents? Why, thank you ma’am. How kind of you. What? You’ll give me a dollar if I’ll put my shirt back on?  Ok.

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KevieBear spends the next hour taking his shirt off and then putting it back on. For money.

This is fantastic! I wonder how much money I have now? I’ll bet I have enough to buy an airline ticket. I’d better find a phone.

Home, here I come! First Class all the way!

KevieBear rushes to find a phone so he can make his travel arrangements. His journey to the moon has finally ended.

Next: Part 6 –  KevieBear Goes Home