KevieBear’s Journey To The Moon –  Part Four

May 12, 2007  –

Here it is! The big day has arrived! What shall I say? 

“I’M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!!” No, too intense. 

“Hi, I’m your number one fan?” No, sounds like I’m asking instead of telling. 

“Mr. Spacey, it is indeed an honor to meet you.” No, too formal. 

“Mr. Spacey, I’ve been a fan for many years.” No, makes us both sound old.

“Yo, Kev! Of all your characters, John Doe is the one that speaks to me.” No, stalker alert!

“Hello, Kevin. I’m pleased to meet you. May I have your autograph?” Yes! that’s the one!

This is a big crowd. I hope I can get through to the front. There he is! He looks much taller in person. The crowd’s too big here. I’d better move around to the other side! Here he comes. He’s getting closer! 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Will someone please give me a little boost? Jeez, lady, I asked for help. Not to be strangled. Oh my. He’s right next to me. We’ve been spotted by security! What was I going to say? You must be pleased to meet me? I’m not really a stalker? Those weren’t it. I can’t breathe. Here it is. The moment I’ve been waiting for!


KevieBear’s mind goes blank and he’s unable to speak or remember what he was going to say.

Kevin Spacey is now a mere step away from his biggest fan, KevieBear. Unfortunately KevieBear is having a mental lapse due to the excitement of the moment and his words don’t come out as planned.

KevieBear: Urg blurgle blup.
Kevin Spacey: Does anyone else hear a strangling sound?
KevieBear: I… I… I….
Kevin Spacey: Hello everyone. Thank you for coming.
KevieBear: Um… uh…you… moon…
Kevin Spacey: Hello little bear. You look familiar. Have we made a movie together?

KevieBear feeling faint, struggles to say something, anything, before Kevin Spacey steps away. Kevin Spacey, used to dizzy fans who can’t catch their breath, quickly compresses KevieBear’s chest which causes KevieBear to start breathing again.

The crowd erupts in cheers. Kevin and KevieBear take a bow in front of the photographers. KevieBear struggles to speak.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

KevieBear finally manages to yell something out loud.

BACK FAT!!! Back fat? Oh man. Where did that come from? I’m so embarrassed. I think I’m going to pass out again. Kevin! Wait! Come back! I’ve remembered what I was going to ask you! Can I have your autograph?? Come back!

Too late. Kevin Spacey has already turned away to greet the other fans at the stage door.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Next: Part 5 – KevieBear Gets Stuck In New York City