April 15, 2010

Hi Kev!

It’s me again. KBear. No doubt you follow my witty tweets on a daily basis so you probably know of my plans to write the difin defen dephanativ big book about you. There is no need to thank me. I do it willingly. Just as soon as I get the rest of the details sorted out I am going to start the second paragraph! The problems that crop up when you least expect it them you cannot imagine. Finding your eraser, deciding on the color of the paper, which picture should I use for my author’s photo. It’s an endless list. But I persevere because that’s the kind of bear I am.

I write to you because my assistant refuses to. All I wanted was to ask a few simple questions to add a touch of flash and excitement to my your story. First let me give you a simple outline of the chapters in the book.

  1. How your early years eerily paralleled mine.
  2. How your early career was so much like mine.
  3. How you came to look just so much like me.
  4. How I came to realize you are so much like me.
  5. How I decided we should meet.
  6. How I came to accept others thinking I am not Never mind. My mother says not everyone is meant to have hair on the back of their head.
  7. How I came to live with my assistant.
  8. Why I put up with her when she refuses to do anything I ask.

You get the idea. So I was thinking that if I asked you a few questions you could answer them. The burning questions. The questions that have Pulitzer Prize written all over them! Here goes.

  1. Do you get an annual steam cleaning to stay looking so fresh?
  2. Do you sort your sweaters by color or season?
  3. Do you find that never mind that one either too.
  4. Should I give up my acting career and concentrate on writing?

If you don’t have time to write back with your answers you can tweet them to me. But you’d better use some kind of secret code so others don’t get the idea that they can bother you with every crackpot idea that comes down the road. I know! How does this sound? You could just tweet yes’s or no’s and then you’ll look mysterious and not at all odd or confusing. That was a flash of brilliance if there ever was one! I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours very truly,