Poll #20: Kevin Gardens

BigBunnyKevin has always wanted a garden of his own. Now, as a big name movie star, he can afford to buy a place in the country and have a garden. But he’s no Martha Stewart and plans to do everything himself. There will be no over-paid staff of gardeners for the spaceman. No sir-ree! Once you climb over the electrified fence, creep past the guard tower, tiptoe past the dogs,  swim across the moat, and crawl around the side of the house, what will be Kevin be doing?

He’ll be tripping over a hose. 64

He’ll get warts from tickling that frog. 13

He’ll step in a gopher hole and twist his  ankle. 27

Develop a rash from using too much Bug Off spray. 21

He’s got a stitch in his side from running from a chipmunk. 22

He’s got an infection from a grabbing a rose by it’s thorny stem. 31

He’s getting high on rose and flower dust. 47

BIG RABBIT!!! Did that blood curdling scream come from Kevin?! 51

He’s feeling sick since he cut that worm in half with a trowel. 40

He’s turning in his neighbors for growing the devil’s weed in their garden. 15

He’s somehow tied himself to the tomato stakes. 58

Kevin’s no helpless novice. He’s read A Dummies Guide to Gardening. Twice! 81

Kevin doesn’t really like going outside. He has delicate skin and bad allergies. 29

He’d rather be found sitting in a screened porch drinking martinis.147

He has a bad case of powdery mildew. 15

Of course, when I found him …

he was reclining on a lounger with his nose stuck in a good book, sipping Long Island Ice Tea…naked.~
I said Sorry sir but I am a big fan and would just like you to know that I appreciate your talent. So before you call the cops could I please just have a hug and I will be off.~
He was sleeping! ~
he was feeding those pesky British theatre critics to his specially cultivated giant Venus
He’s wondering if that helicopter flying over is the cops and if so, will they be able to see his marijuana plant from up there? ~
He will be attending to the pansies ~
He was scooping up Mini’s poop ~
He made-out with me. 😀 ~
He greeted me at the garden gate and took my basket of scones while offering me a cool adult refreshment. We walk along the path past his heirloom sweet williams… ~ s
itting next to me holding my hand ~
He would hire someone to maintain his beautiful landscape, of course. He is much too busy to stay and do it himself. ~
He was taking a break answering fan mail starting with Liss and Jackie’s on top!!! 🙂 (Now there’s fantasy for ya!) ~
he was sitting by the pond, and I overheard him singing…Oh the shark, babe, has such teeth, babe ~
He turns and says, “You thought I would be working in the garden (laughs)…I’m reading “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”…does that count? ~
He’s showering in the sprinklers. ~
He sees a spider and starts singing..”The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, along with the hand  movements. ~
He was running from the angry mocking bird pecking him in the head. ~
He was wondering what to plant. There is too much rain and getting started this year is the pits. Maybe a sunflower would help bring other flowers to bloom. ~
He was putting Miracle Grow on Mini ~
He was enjoying the landscape that he paid for and has it maintained. ~
He’s tied himself to the tomato stakes, how luncy for me!  😉 ~
He’s mowing the lawn (with a push mower) in one of his many hats, a white t-shirt, and he’s got a glass of spiked lemonade nearby. ~
He was sprawled, butt naked, in the pansies! ~
Kevin Spacey says that you shouldn’t pick up a garden hose when it’s making hissing noises. ~
He was sunbathing naked on his newly laid decking. ~
He was picking a bouquet for his mother, of course!~
He was measuring the backyard for an astro turf lawn. ~
he was picking poison ivy! ~
He`s scattering fertilizer around the hampseed hidden behind the tomato stakes… ~
He`d be found sitting in his sand-box baking a birthday-cake for his mother
…negotiations with the mole have been unsuccessful…so Kevin now starts firebombing… Even Kevin is hungry sometimes…..: I’d find him crawling on all fours around an anthill shouting: “Where is my FOOOOOOOD??!!!!!” ~
He was drinking the beer he had poured into the little dishes he sat out to catch slugs !!! ~
He was “pitching a tent”  while wondering where his ho went…wait–that’s hoe, isn’t it? Never mind… ~
He was waiting for me to pull weeds from his garden. Plant all the flowers. Grow Mexican Sunflowers, but we have had much to much rain in the midwest for growing our gardens. We need lots of sunshine too. When that is completed then we will have that Cosmopolitan (martini) together and watch the beautiful sunset together looking over beautiful Lake Superior.~
He was standing under a tree with his metal rake waiting for the lightning storm to pass by. ~
He’s stuck in the cement foundation for the new barbecue he decided to build for the July 4th festivities and he can’t reach the martini pitcher. He should have waited until Mom got home. ~
He was making a hat out of that nice ivy growing in the bushes. ~
He was looking for a bottle of calamine lotion. ~
He’ll say “Let’s take a walk, shall we Sport?” ~
he was so delighted to see me that he asked me to stay for as long as it lasts ~
He’ll dig a hole a wee bit too deep and end up in China~
Kevin was passed out from sun stroke. ~
He was picking “wild” mushrooms for his salad later that afternoon.~
He was filling the neighbors inground pool with cement as a funny prank.~
He was running around naked and screaming, “BEES!! MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF KILLER BEES!!!”~
He was trying to build a sand castle out of those small mounds of sand that keep popping up all over the lawn.~
He was using his fencing sword to trim the shrubs.~
He was directing the landscaper on where to put the garden.~
He was dancing around a patch of wildflowers wearing only his blue boxers.~
Asking his Magic 8-ball  for directions to his back yard.~
sees me, screams at me: out, out who do you work for !!?~
he was sleeping in a hammock with his dogs beside him….~
He was misbehaving in the rose bushes!~
I worshiped him.~
he was so desperate to have his roses grow that he was singing (catterwalling is more like it) thinking it would do the trick~
The gardener was telling him to take his trowel and go away.~
He was drinking martinis and asking his gardener how he was going to survive without Martha for 2-20 years with time off for good behavior.~
He’s planting concrete so the cicadas can’t escape from the dirt. ~
He tripped over the dog and hit his head on a lounge chair.~
He’s hiding from the cicadas.~
he was napping~