Poll #25: Kevin’s Stocking 2001

What did Kevin’s fans want Santa to leave in his stocking? It depends on whether he’s been naughty or nice this year. What do you think?

Naughty *and* nice. 124
Naughty. 22
Not so naughty – very nice. 34
Naughty? Kevin Spacey??? 60  

His gifts:
Idiots Guide to the Internet -Updated for 2002 (and 2003 and 2004!) 40
Gift certificate for 5 free chest hair fluffings. 39
All of his favorite childhood holiday TV specials on DVD. 58
Rubber gloves and a mask for opening his fan mail. 57
New carrying case for the hair he only wears “professionally”. 34
His own yort tree. 26
A Red Rider BB gun (He’ll shoot his eye out!) 20
Flying reindeer food. 10
A yo-yo. He’s always wanted a yo-yo. 70
Singing lessons with a real singing teacher. 20
A call from the Bobby Darin biopic producers. 70
Slipper socks. 56

And:

A 5lb. bag of peanut M&M’s. ~
Green Christmas tree PEEPS. ~
Fan mail! ~
me! ~
Coffee, Tea, and….ME!!! ~
He should get a nice girl like me.  I  have  the patience of a saint ( for a man who is away often), I love dogs and come complete with my own loveable little mutt who adores other dogs, and I have my own job so I won’t be dependent on him.  I don’t ask a lot of questions and I adapt easily.  And I can teach him how to make a yo-yo do amazing things. ~
A vacation—the man has been working hard the past few months.  He could probably use some down time. ~
His own personal microphone so he can keep on singing his little heart out! ~
This gift arrives late: Oscar for  “The Shipping News”!  Don’t forget your tux, silly boy. ~ Since he’s been GLORIOUSLY nice this year, he deserves something extra-wextra special: me in nothing but wrapping paper and a green bow. Ho ho ho! ~
Me ~
a phone card so that he can call his mother ~
A contract all ready for him to sign for ‘On A Beam Of Light’ ~
a christmas special starring himself! ~
World peace would be okay too. ~
Another Oscar…oops! Sorry…that’s March. ~
A cat to liven things up in his apartment! (Mew!) ~
Therapy. If I were him, and I read the results of this poll, I’d need major therapy! ~
another leg lamp in a crate marked FRAGEELAY, the old one got broken ~
Someone to keep an eye on his socks!  I like to see ‘Spacey skin’ as much as the next fan, but lets keep it to the chest shall we? ~
Another Oscar come March, Me on his doorstep tied up in a big red bow, silly putty, a handmade pillow from my mom, all the joy and happiness in the world… and what wouldn’t make him happier than his own little EASY BAKE OVEN!!! We could all use an easy bake oven someitmes 🙂 ~
Me ~
ME!!!!! I fit into a stocking (harhar). ~
a good, swift kick in the arse for not responding to his fan mail! ~
I have just won an all expense paid trip to the destination of my choice.  I choose Kevin’s apartment. I’ll giggle and clap at his comical attempts to perform yo-yo tricks. When he’s exausted himself with the yo-yo we’ll get into our slipper socks, set out the reindeer food, and cozy up together while waiting for reindeer to appear!  EVERYBODY HAVE A MERRY  CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!  You too Kev! ~
ME!!!!! ~
A laptop and  *someone*  to run it for him (Kev’s a busy guy!) ~
The movie script for “A Beam of Light”. ~
an in-ground pool for his apartment! ~
nah! I won’t say it! ~
Some Hand Lotion ~
Did he outgrow the bunny suit made by his aunt that the fans wanted him to have last year? Maybe he’d want another dinner with the Kringles. Dingle, Bingle, Zingle,Tingle, Pingle and Ringle. ~
A restful, happy Christmas surrounded by family and friends! ~
a visit to K-PAX ~
A recording contract! ~
me! ~
Mini could probably use an automatic timer for her holiday light displays. ~
Me!!!!!!! ~
ME ~
Me ~
an electric knife for carving the roast beast ~
Me, of course! ~
Kevin ought to chill, man.  Letterman sure put him on the spot, making him sing like that.  He ought to get away from show biz and plan his next cool move.  We can’t just expect him to sing at the drop of a hat!  Give the guy some breathing room.  He’s only a mortal being!  Let him promote  “The Shipping News”.  And like that–he’s gone!  Let him deflate his head!  Let him chill!  That would be a nice gift.  Oh by the way–buy the soundtrack to  “Midnight”.  Never sang before?  I beg to differ.  That dude can sing. ~
me! ~
A big can of Who-hash. ~
a seal flipper pie  for his freezer ~
me ~
A large box of Sweet-n-Low.  It’s in the pink packet. ~
ME ~
Gosh darn cute cloth antlers with jingle bells he can make his dogs wear. ~
Me in a bathtub of rose petals! ~
ME! of course with a big red bow ~
Fresh coffee from Guatemala.  The beans are picked right off the trees.  It’s good.  And a styrofoam cup into which he can dunk a big tea bag. ~
A super-size bottle of Motrin. ~
Me in a big box with a big red bow!! That’ll be his favorite gift!! ~
Trip to Bali with me!! ~
A karaoke machine, a tape of Bobby Darin songs with the vocals removed, and a bottle of scotch. A fun time will be had by all! ~
a ‘space’ ship ~
An Oscar ~
A vacation! I hear the Island Of Misfit Toys is wonderful this time of year 😉 ~
A bar of soap to wash out that mouth and a thesaurus so he can replace all those 4-letter words he likes so much. ~
a tube of superelasticbubbleplastic so he can have fun at parties ~
me …of course…ahnighta pleasure ~
He should get a to play ping pong and pool with me. 🙂 ~
A can of cheese wiz, some ritz crackers, a bottle of J.D. and me, me, ME!!!!!! ~
A big hug from me WeiszMaven@aol.com ~
Me, of course! ~
A good spanking! ~
a new snow shovel for his mom to use when she visits in the winter ~
Kevin will just have to use his imagination for the last suggestion I received. I ain’t postin’ it. ~
A pair of reindeer bookends from eBay. ~
A lighter and some super glue so he can pretend like he’s Verbal Kint when he’s all alone 🙂
i would send him peppermint patties because i love them and they make me happy maybe they would also make kevin happy ~
Me. Oh, and Sweet-N-Low ~
ME!!!! ~
A new journal for keeping his daily life personally documented. Every man (esp. travellers like Kevin) should keep a journal. ~
A good spanking!  For being such a little tease!!! 🙂 ~
A candy rose. ~
A bigger bed for him, Mimi, Legacy, and a friend, hehe! ~
A bag of switches, so I can spank him!!! (Wouldn’t that scare the reindeer?) ~
A good movie. Wait a second, that’s what I wanted for Christmas. ~
A knitting machine and some yarn so he can make his own doggie sweaters. ~
The same thing I got him for his birthday. Because he’s a BAAAAD boy! ~
His very own KevieBear ~
me, of course ~
Me!~
Doggie toys for his babies. ~
Just about anything his heart desires ~
A pen and some stationary so he can start writing his fans back!~
A bottle…from his older, fatter brother~
New wheels for his RAZOR scooter because his current ones ought to be worn out by now.~ Idiots guide to Acting ~
my phone number~
ME ME ME & MORE OF ME. lol ~
A call from the producers of the recent TV  version of “The Music Man”–they want  to re-do the whole thing with Kevin in the Professor Harold Hill role instead of Matthew Broderick (lame!) Now that “Chicago” did so well, maybe they can do more musicals–Kevin would be great in them–don’t you think? ~
I’m sure that whatever he wants he’ll get ~
Me! ~
Is Al Pacino’s Scarface out on DVD yet? I’d think he’d like that. Also, some Estee Lauder Pleasures Cologne and directions to my house LOL!!! ~ me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~
ME ~
A Big stuffed Rainbow Fish (inside joke)! Or we could go David Gale and get him a big stuffed Lamb. Cloud Dog ~
a race car ~
myself ~
a big smile and a loving look.   he’ll get that from me. ~
all of his favorite movies and music he can have me too if he wants me :} ~
me ~
ME ~
ME!!!~
Giggling ~
a litile  pal for mini to play with while her dadys working he will have doubile the love from his canine companieans ~
me ~
me ~
A new cell phone and a body guard. ~
la péllicule d’origine de Lawrence d’Arabie ~
another great script for a movie ~
A leather Jumpsuit ~

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The write-in gifts were still being added over the next few years after the original poll.