Bear In Space Part II

KevieBear has put on his space suit and raced to the studio. While he waits for Louie in the front office, he meets one of the actors.

KevieBear: Helllooooo lovely lady! (KevieBear loves the ladies) What’s your name?

Lovely Lady: Hello little bear. My name’s Holly Bednar. What’s yours?

KevieBear: I’m KevieBear.

Holly: I’m pleased to meet you. Do you work here?

KevieBear: Yes, I do. I’m the star of the new Star Trek movie. Shatner couldn’t make it.

Holly: Really? I didn’t know they were filming a Star Trek movie here. I thought it was an episode of Starship Farragut.

KevieBear: A what? What’s that?

Holly:  Hi John! This precious little bear says he’s working on your new movie.

John Broughton aka the Stranger: KevieBear! You made it! I’m so glad you came by. Did you meet Louie? Louie, this is KevieBear. I told you about him. He’s going to be working for you today.

The unseen Louie: Yeah?

KevieBear: John said you’re supposed to set me up, whatever that means.

Louie: Oh yeah. Come with me.

KevieBear: Bye John. Bye lovely Holly!

KevieBear and Louie go to the set in the back of the building.

KevieBear: Why was John dressed like that when he’s the producer?

Louie: He’s also the star of the film.

KevieBear: The star? I thought I was the star.

Louie: That’s real funny. You can get started over there. Have you got any other clothes?

KevieBear: No. But I have my sneakers with me in case my feet start to hurt from standing too long.

Louie: Better put them on then. It’s going to be hard work.

KevieBear: I’ve heard that.

Louie: And take off those glasses. They’re dangerous in here. Like I said before. You can get started over there.

KevieBear: Over there? That looks like a vacuum cleaner.

Louie: It is.

KevieBear: Oh. I don’t get it. But it’s your movie.

KevieBear goes to stand by the vacuum cleaner.


KevieBear: This seems very odd to me. Why would they want the star to stand next to a vacuum cleaner? I know! I’ll bet it looks completely different on film. It’s probably some kind of space alien.

Louie: Are you finished already? That was quick. Ok, you can start with the paint cans now.

KevieBear stands by the paint cans.


KevieBear: I wonder what these are supposed to be? Some kind of intergalactic weapons in pod form maybe. It’s astonishing how these things look so different on the big screen. The magic of Hollywood at it’s finest.

Louie: Are you back already? You’re a fast worker. You didn’t pull those wires out, did you?

KevieBear wonders when the director is going to show up. There seems to be a lot of waiting around doing nothing.

KevieBear: Louie, when is the director going to show up? My fur only stays fluffy for so long plus it’s time for my nap so I need to know my motivation for my scenes. Like the vacuum scene.

Louie: You don’t need the director for that. I can tell you what your motivation is.

KevieBear: You can?!

Louie: Yes. You’re vacuuming.

KevieBear: You mean that the shuttle is in danger from an alien virus and in order to save the crew, being the heroic captain that I am, I jump into action and suction the virus out of the shuttle into space, thereby saving the entire crew from a painful death?

Louie: No. I mean that once the set’s down, you take the vacuum and clean the floor.

KevieBear: What does that have to do with being in space on a shuttlecraft?

Louie: Nothing. But it means that once you finish vacuuming, you need to get rid of the paint cans and fix that hole in the wall where the wires came through and then pick up all this trash.

KevieBear: I don’t understand. Don’t you have a cleaning crew for that?

Louie. Yeah. You.

KevieBear: I don’t understand. When do I film my shots? When do I get my trailer? Where is my assistant?

Louie: Your trailer? Your assistant? That’s funny. Get to work. And put your hat back on before something falls and hits you in the head.

KevieBear gets to work wondering if this is how Kevin Spacey got started.

Next Chapter: Bear In Space Part III